Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the exact way you treat everyone all the time. These are not at all ideal to use as they are negatively sarcastic / cynical . Your state of mind remains unchanged. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. , dont try to prove yourself or fish for compliments. I dont make decisions based upon opinions from people who dont have to deal with the outcome. They are both correct grammatically, the first is a statement, the second is a question. You couldnt handle me even if I came with instructions. Do you think Im fat? Thats unimportant, are you comfortable with the way you look?, The what-if technique is brilliant because it gets you out of everything. I ignored you the first time. These are all reframing techniques. We have to break through this. Turn yourself off and become the group! Thats the kind of humor that makes you pretend youre an over the horse diva. 75. Where do pain and fear of rejection come from? Can I help you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. "I am not answering a question ". Please stay away from me! but I am going to have to have to memorise these word by word. You keep starting from your own positive reality and in fact, you literally project all your positivity, love and warmth onto the challenger. Nah, youll be fine. I am completely happy: I have everything I need. Dont be emotionally reactive, just stay unchanged. You dont need anything yourself, such as validation from others. I'm sorry, I didn't order a plate of your opinion. The complete lack of hesitation combined with the specificity of the insult was devastating.. Oh, just a few. Stop thinking about yourself and become one with your environment and the people around you. Ignore the insult and just answer the question kindly, cordially, and completely. I'm describing you. If you think Im going home with you tonight thats not going to happen., Then you should pay attention / well see, because Im quite charming., Play with the other persons cards: Good, now I dont have to worry about you chasing me anymore., Tip 14. Someone who is worthy does not have to defend himself / herself because this person knows he / she is worthy. Never give others your appreciation from a position of weakness. Id say three or four., I didnt know I had to keep count was that supposed to be?, Youd be surprised how often I mess up., Oh sure, but you are the only one who has been crazy enough to actually fall for it so far., you just fit somewhere in my diary full of women., Well, make sure you become 1st choice then., No, of course you are not fat. Calm down. Didnt know you were bi anyway., Wouldnt you be better off trying it on those other girls?, Good taste, do you have to ask for their number?, I really dont come by to have sex with you alone., No silly. I decorate women in pubs and light them up so I get their inheritance., Tip 15. Here comes the kiss I must have the kiss The kiss here it comes . And went on their way. I want you on the other side of it. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. For more information, please see our And then immediately move on to another topic. Make a meta comment about the conversation. Thats why they like to try and make other people feel bad, to cover their own insecurities and mask their own feelings. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Ive always been good at comebacks, but these are perfect to use. Bich s there going to back of lol, Your email address will not be published. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. Who were blessed by the Lord. Not everyone has good taste.. ), Yes I agree, I secretly walked out of the daycare center today and then I stole my dads ID card to get in here., Oh, dont worry, I wont use your age against you., Hey, dont be so hard on yourself you dont look that old., Yes youre right, you probably couldnt keep up with my pace., Oh, Im 65, I just look young for my age., Yes, I can be your grandpa. Thats just fine. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? You must think youre strong, but you only smell strong. It's incredibly charismatic. Stick with that feeling. it helps. Dont try to be funny or witty. Please continue while I take some notes. I cant even reply, I dont talk the language of stupid. Youre not pretty enough to be that stupid. Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt. I get so emotional when youre not around. Thank you I am ten and a grup of girls are messing with me and they will back of wen I say these thangs to them lol, I am ten wen I tell those Im not bossy. Thats why you dont care about pleasing. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. Hypnosis is the work of the devil, so you are devils. I am secretly the devil after all. Dont ask for energy, such as approval, where its about you. Roses are red; violets are blue. OK honey, just a lesson in social manners. Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. If its in the workplace, school, or some other environment with rules report the bully to get their actions on record. Theyre asking for you. I didnt realize that you are an expert on my life. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The Sixers already have $117.1 million of salary on their books for next season with only seven players under contract. May you always step on a wet spot after putting on fresh socks. or withdraw your attention and interest and actually do so if the other person is, I can also stop / leave if you dont want me to make you happy.. You are much, MUCH worse! In fact, here are 21 anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at anyway. (Pretend to pull something of your pocket of bag. Never prove yourself and even see how you can enjoy yourself so that you contribute, Tip 22. Share your energy. Do you have a minute? We dont want anyone getting hurt, do we? I dont understand your specific kind of stupidity, but I do admire your total commitment to it. In this article, you will therefore learn the best comeback principles so that you can win every situation, show muscle and lead. Take a look at our extensive NLP sources: The above top 10 is just the tip of the iceberg. I dont know how socially handy you are, because of course we only just met, but come on, take a chance., Because I know what to do and if you listen to me, happiness will come your way. Do you have any funny, witty, or smart comebacks to share with the rest of the community? . The only thing offending me right now though is your face. I never give advice unless someone asks me for it. I just speak what everyone else is thinking of you. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. Before we get to the comeback tips: a word of caution, Especially in flirting contexts, the intention of comebacks and deframing is not to, to understand that you should do this with a warm smile and overly know-it-all attitude for the. ago. I've already forgotten what you said, but I bet it pointless anyway. Thats strange, I dont remember asking for your opinion. Oops, my bad. No one can give you better advice than yourself. Privacy Policy. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Part! Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. If everyone was like you, the human race would lose faith in the world. Another comeback that doesnt miss: Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad. If someone is angryor obsessedenough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor affection towards you is all it takes to tilt a power struggle back in your favor. His arresting officer claims You are without a doubt the worst pirate Ive ever heard of. Ah, replies Sparrow, But you have heard of me. There is no comeback like one that tosses your opponents words back at them! Me:AH yes its the aroma of originality! Be ready. Here are 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments. Thank you for using these comebacks my bullies are going to be completely shocked. Emily Anderson is a mother of three children, all under the age of 10. So you can great help, improvise, flowen and have nice conversations. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? Easy. Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I dont care. Thank you I know what to tell my daughter and son to that bully, I dont use comebacks from the internet I just like to see what the websites say and I would rate this a 8.5 out of 10 . You are not a plaything of the other person who has you completely under his / her control? (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! 1. Without moving a finger to come up with a nice action. This one is even better if you have a real bag to use as a prop. You will receive immediate, firm, permanent attention if you are always that way of course, which is highly recommended. As if the other meant it positively. Some people bring joy wherever they go. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. We got into a fight with a random girl at the park, and when we were walking away she screamed after us, What are you gonna do, strawberry lemonade?, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 22 insults from Shakespeare that still sting to this day, funny political quotes and insults you cant help but laugh at, 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments, 16 compliments you dont realize are actually pretty insulting, 40 funny sayings worth committing to memory, 50 cheesy pickup lines guaranteed to get a laugh, hilarious photos that will make you laugh out loud, 21 anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at anyway, groan-worthy jokes you cant help but laugh at, funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work, movies with the best one-liners youll want to say over and over, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. and our I'm busy; you're ugly. It interferes with a persons main task in life becoming a better person. happens to me all the time too, mostly a joke between friends but can get very annoying. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? This is one of those good comebacks for the person constantly interrupting you. Next topic., Yup, I dont have an answer for that. You can come up with a rebuttal using the best comebacks ever. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. Its such a beautiful day to leave me alone. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. Or are you so insecure that you think it can only be a bet? There's only one problem with your face, I can see it. I missed it. 76. Ive been called worse things by better men. Pierre Trudeau, a Canadian politician, upon hearing Richard Nixon insulted him. Meta-naming you ignore it for inappropriate: Okay I pretend I didnt hear that different topic. Lets pretend we never had this conversation., The other says defiantly, Are you picking up on me?. Apparently, they have a vacancy in clownery they think youd be suited for. Knocks em dead every time. Talk about a double whammy! Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. I dont remember asking for your opinion. Deframing is a wonderful reframing technique because with it you almost knock over the frame of the other with a wrecking ball. I heard a kid tell one of his classmates that they smell like hot dog water,' shares one Buzzfeed contributor. Are you dating superiors?. Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. Required fields are marked *. They will just lower me to their level, then beat me with experience. Johan Derksen after someone provocatively asked him if he was on drugs. You already have everything in yourself. I wanna give you a high fiveon the facewith a hammer. I bet even your family dont pretend to like you, do they? Powerful and loving comebacks? On the right side, there's nothing left. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. Maybe follow it up with one of these funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work. Im sorry I didnt get that. 74. Better than anybody here. Luckily, my boss had a sense of humor, shares one Buzzfeed contributor. When you want to make a comeback in flirting contexts, funny arrogance makes a lot of sense. At a given moment in our relationship you have to eliminate that witch, and show the sweet princess in you. You just get in hard with your own frame your own reality. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Your email address will not be published. Id insult you, but then Id have to explain it afterwards, so never mind. i love it now my boys will know not to talk back to me, Love these, now I know that school cant bother me, You should add, I didnt remember asking for your opinion. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? So dont let it be about yourself but about the group. When your mom dropped you off at school, she got apprehended by the authorities for littering. Let's go to the zoo. But, when you add "but duct tape is silver", you change the meaning slightly. I have very little tolerance for that. So you radiate it and above all: radiate that you are not extremely impressed by anything. Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. Let go and let it be about the group: be non-needy , magnetic, present mixed with the group: you are part of the group. Unsolicited advice is a form of criticism, did you know that? Dont answer that question, I dont want to know., Come on, thats nice so you get a plus., I think I was dividing the points here. Because so did Satan! Dont make the outcome of an interaction or provocation important to yourself. People like you are the reason I'm on medication. Bless whoever curses you. You, on the other hand, bring joy whenever you go. Your mouth must taste like shit all the time. Forgot your name., If by that you mean I have to help you pick up women sorry but Im not going to do that for you. Im shy. is brilliant because it gets you out of everything. They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. I would roast you but my mom told me that I'm not allowed to burn trash. chvgs 3 min. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Act crazy! I am cool! If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted. If youre gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. You are your own validation: you dont care what others think, only. Any response you give should be for the purpose of amusing yourself, not pleasing the other. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. Just drop a comment below, thanks. I don't remember asking you. If you have lost everything of the ego, there is nothing left to protect. Sorry for the mean, awful accurate things I said. There are medications to help manage what you have, Id see a doctor if I were you. You keep starting from your own positive reality and in fact, you literally project all your positivity, love and warmth onto the challenger. Never defend yourself, but accept and exaggerate (self-mockery). Hey! So what is an important quality of charisma that is useful for comebacks? I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I guess its true what everyone says about you. I love the sound you make when you shut up. Im so in love I forgot., Do you like honest men? I don't have an attitude problem. Anyone who ever said they loved you lied. When shes not writing articles about useful facts and pop culture, you can find Erin enjoying the local theater scene and working toward her goal of reading 50 books a year. Misinterpret a sneer as something positive. Comeback Kid. You are not as bad as people say. Especially "I must have Alzheimer's because I don't remember asking." Pretty stupid if you ask me, which, of course, you actually did this time. You probably recognize him, for example when a politician says on a talk show: You can think that., Its okay if you dont like me. That sounds like a you problem. This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. As a comeback, Oh, but I didnt think we were going to do anything like that., I think you should get your head out of the clouds, honey. Never give others your appreciation from a position of weakness. Feel free to use any other reframing technique to dismantle a test / challenge. (then ask them to repeat it again, and again). Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud? You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. If someone says something that is not as sweet as a challenge, let us know: Lovingly accusing is recommended as a wonderful flirting move anyway, but it is also a brilliant comeback. So dont try hard to improve your image. Sometimes its okay to just admit your weak action. [33 tips to realize dreams 100%], How To Become Rich? Im not arguing. 5 easy steps to get out of the friendzone, How to recognize if a man is in love [Signals & his body language], Free will and religion / theology [Verses & Quotes on free will]. (#sarcasm)var cid='5738294066';var pid='ca-pub-2253677134355600';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-momadviceline_com-box-3-0';var ffid=1;var alS=1002%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.style.maxHeight=container.style.minHeight+'px';container.style.maxWidth=container.style.minWidth+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); LOL. Or how can I make it up to you? The claimants immediately get fireworks and wedding tunes in their heads and get visions of what the two of you are going to do in the next six months. I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening. Say whats on your mind without fear of rejection, because what does this secretly communicate very powerfully? But on the surface, youre just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid. Remember when Captain Jack Sparrow, under threat of capture and arrest, takes a moment to deliver a devastating zinger? You are actually very beautiful and you can be very sure of that., Oh baby, you just about fill the whole room., Theres no other way to say this: Youre just gigantic., : Uhm no, really not. It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces. Say whats on your mind without fear of rejection, because what does this secretly communicate very powerfully? You zoom in and says something about the meaning of the conversation, rather than an answer to the meaning. Boys / girls you want to flirt with are not scary. Maybe three or four or something?, Just in the past few hours, you mean? Do you want good comebacks? komi psychoI don't remember asking 2535234 Records DKReleased on: 2023-02-20Auto-generate. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people in the world. From Reddit user VigorousRapscallion: I was playing a drinking game that involves rules being made on the fly. Ill try again in 10 minutes., You are the worst Bram I know. Not only am I the worst Bram you know, I am the worst at all. Given the frequency of mock-sorrys in verbal squabbles, dont be sorry for who you are is definitely one to keep in your pocket. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. , classic comebacks that they use in rap battles and so on. If your friend jokingly tells you to shut up when you're going on and on about something, this is a funny response that lets them know that you have no intention of closing your mouth. It might even defuse the argument. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. Then you can turn that pretty harsh response into something sweet: Did it occur to you that Im talking to you because I think you look nice? Take off that social mask. If it is actually an offer , it is delicious! "you probably waited your entire useless fucking existence just to feel like you said something even remotely funny, well . Your face is just fine, but youll have to put a bag over that personality. Just be sweet and cute. Dont hold on to it more and more, but: fuck it. Am I second best? Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Dont ask for energy, such as approval, where its about you. Oh, didnt I tell you? Im an acquired taste. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. From others and from yourself. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm. Care about them. Lakers' playoff hopes take another hit after comeback fades vs. Minnesota Anthony Davis finishes with 38 points, but no LeBron James and D'Angelo Russell proves costly in the Lakers' 110-102 loss . Hey, I found your nose. Do the opposite of pleasing: deframing. Is this the result of being unloved all your life? This response can either be funny or flirty, depending on . Were stronger when our energies are combined. Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. Did you fall from heaven? That time spent alone can be relaxing, energising and spiritual. of amusing yourself, not pleasing the other. Churchill: And if I married you, I would eat it. Do you always find yourself trapped in a silly argument with friends and enemies? Did that make you feel good? I and you both dont have to be here, you can go, is better than trying to prove yourself in response to the other. I'm surprised your teeth aren't brown from all the shit talking you do. Dont try to win the other person s approval or impress them by saying something funny or interesting in response. You can read more about this persistent illusion in this article about the ego. Looking for some clean comebacks for bullies who think its fun to throw comments, insults, or annoying remarks your way? Im not even sure if youre trying to insult me or confuse me. Dont deviate from the script., (Pretend to read the sentence on your hand. But in your case, go ahead., I dont have the energy to pretend I like you today., Actually I want to tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I dont want to see your ugly face every day., I never forget a face, but in your case I will gladly make an exception., If karma doesnt get to you, Id love to., Woman to Churchill: If I were married to you, I would put poison in your food..