Copyright 2013-2021 | Peter White (DiaLteG TM) Why Do Guys? Dont waste your time with him if hes not making moves to meet you. I hadnt really intended on keeping up messaging guys while traveling with my family and kids, but he seemed like such a perfect match, that I couldnt resist replying. Do not assume that getting a bunch of texts from a guy means you are having a relationship. The lack of important non-verbal communication tactics. I met a guy online and we chatted once on the phone and were messaging for almost a month. I mention to her to text when she gets home. There are totally normal, no-reason-to-freak-out reasons why you're hearing from them less and really only one to worry about. That is unrealistic and also it is impossible to know a person via text. That's a HUGE excuse to keep you at arm's length. I say yes, but it takes us a while to pin down the date, because, again, I had to figure out the place, day, and time. A lot of times we fall for an IDEA of who a guy might be instead of who he really is. Ugggh I am a 62 year old woman. On Facebook that said here is my number, if he ever felt for it . I've filled a few of these and the only removable piece was the mouth piece. She agreed that shes never met someone shes connected with like that, and since break came up I offered to go to her state for her to show me around and she wanted me to and also offered to come to me for a date in a place that we talked about in our date the prior day. You should only text a girl every day if you're already sleeping together a lot or are boyfriend and girlfriend, or at least friends with benefits. He said he missed his exit and blew his front tire trying to make it to the exit after he realized he passed it. Its great if you end up meeting him and he turns out to be a nice guy. Im 45, tall, blond and quite attractive and dont have a problem getting men. And the longer he was gone the less he replied and the longer it took him to reply. Its all about how he FEELS when hes with you, and he knows it. I dont know your past experiences, but to assume he just wants a chat buddy because he wanted to call you back once is being awfully tough. Do I say Id be interested in going on a date but am not interested in a phone buddy, or should I just not respond to his message? He was clear that he was trying to get back on track with finances (things incurred with the ex), working on a very big change happening at work, and wanting to see his mother, he was also in a car accident that totaled his vehicle. Matched with the guy 2 months ago. I know he is jealous (for no reason) i explained that there is no feelings in my marriage and barely any sex. She went to NY met him for 5 days now shes moving to NJ for himI felt so played.wish I read your article sooner , Marie, unfortunately many of us have to learn these things the hard way. 3 apologies. Most of the time those casual lets get together Ill let you know details later discussions dont turn into a real date. Youve apologized and done what you could. It felt like a game or maybe Id pushed him too much, but I told him I didnt think it was going to work out because I was looking for a relationship and not just endless texting. There were very lil flirts, compliments and a minute sense of interest from his side which i took it on a positive side, his text replies reduced much .. but i considered it as may be , he was busy Why Men Lie To You - Secret Surveys - What he wants you to know but won't ever tell you. which to him shows that I am not interested and I dont have any care for him. Sorry for that but happens to most of us at some time(s) or another. He further said that he had enough bad relationships and hes not looking to get into another. So just when I was about to give up the next say after I texted him he swore up and down I wasnt bothering him. I cut him off for a couple weeks, and we didnt talk. He seems like an honest, caring and kind guy (we are both 25). Scammers, opportunists, hookups. He would go off radar in the middle of conversations and on one particular day he txtd me i responded and heard nothing for 14 hours at which point I sent him a txt saying while that behaviour may be ok with some girls it was not with me. He texts me every day and we talk about what well do when I get back, but Ive had to initiate every phone call. I agree. We dont text much except after a walk and its nice . He told me we will do this again soon. I am attracted to this guy but I need to know for peace of mind too. He doesnt tell me anything about himself over text messages, but he would tell me things in person. He responded immediately and we sent 2-3 texts each. We all went to the party together. I caught him off guard, he was ecstatic, he was the one who sought me out, we dated again, his reactions were genuine, and all the while I had my guard up because I dont know what this is anymore. Both divorced with kids since 2018. These women are alldating after 40some in their 60s and 70s. We did a few days of DMing. Please be discerning and do not give attention to anyone who doesnt try to make a date to meet. That last meet was June 15; its now June 29. I got to know this guy from Tinder. I have found many dishonest people online. I would take a caring, loving, dependable techn-dork over some shiny, hip, digital-literacy expert any day. It was nice but I seemed to be doing all the asking and talking. What do you think I should do? Bp. I felt confused at that moment and was wondering why he would text me everyday. He is 57 and I am 55, until now I dont know if I believe him, but once he called spend 1 to 2 hours just talking everyday 2 times a day. He replied quickly to my coffee date and set up a time a place. We started asking more personal questions and really had good conversation. After the dates he immediately contacted me to say what a wonderful time he had. Whenever he texts/calls me its during the day or telling me good morning. So the next day I said hi to him via text we chat hea responsive and wishes me luck in my job interview telling me not to worry but its been 9 days since our first date and no sign of a second other than him thinking of coming to see me!!! Old guy friend from 10 years ago messaged me weekly for about a month, at first just general how are you- then he proceeded to tell me hes been interested in me since first time we met. On a night out we bumped into each other randomly and he looked better than ever. Your advice is definitely going to help me sort this situation out! He freaks out and doesn't know what comes next. I did have some hopes pinned on this going somewhere further than just texting, so I am a bit disappointed, as I've had many dead ends when dating and this has been the first time I've enjoyed messaging someone and felt so compatible with someone who has potential for me, but could use another perspective, especially if someone has been in a similar situation. Bp, the guy I know works on a oil rig engineer off the Atlantic. I dont recommend that you sleep with a man until you can talk clearly about safe sex and about your relationship. He used texting to avoid full attachment and bolted. And certainly, if you havent yet even met you ought not be thinking of stopping dating. Ask him about his life. Take pictures and make sure you keep some mementos if you have a good time. Hi I ran across your site on the web. I dont know why he keeps texting me or what he wants. I got a feeling in my gut to text him if he wants to share any big or important things with me, or possibly change plans, to please consider reaching out by phone as I wanted to avoid communication pitfalls. So we met. You can let him know you are interested by telling him how much you enjoy his company and letting him know what you like about him. My hope for you is that you keep dating and open up to other men. Weve been texting everyday for about a month now but no date. Now he hardly texts and he has called maybe once and i missed the call. Eventually, it trailed off. You have to go on all you know, which is that he stopped being in touch. I really like him, we have a good flirt to bully ratio lol and we've gotten pretty close during this time. We planned to meet twice but he canceelled both times. Bp. Every time I ask or hint about a date or coffee time the response is you never know what the future holds or Im travelling. I am newly divorced after 27 years of marriage. We both have careers that keep us busy but im making time to fit him in and I want the same from him. As important as you may be to that person youre texting, there will be a time when life gets in the way of texting. I did not reply to him immediately. Bp. 13. indie94. He texts and calls but says he is cautious about meeting. Flashpoint Mini Status Update: June 2020. Are my instincts correct? He was a friend of a client who travelled to our country on business. He decided to leave as he had to take a flight next morning. Its not uncommon for people to slow things down in the middle of a courtship if they feel things are moving too fast or they want to be sure they are ready to take a relationship to the next level, she explains. Perhaps things were getting too serious and they are trying to cool things down, says Della Casa. You may be missing some great opportunities! SO what are you exactly? So, don't assume that because they went from texting you 75 times a day to, say, five, that it's time to go to relationship DEFCON 1. I called him out to be honest and fair, and to not use my time and energy, when he is not interested, because I am not looking for a pen pal. The texting is slacking off and Im left a little sad because Ive built a false connection with this man. I thought the second date went well at the end he even said see you next week? Though we did not make definitive plans. I am on 3 sites, 2 sites are major sites. Is it bad to text him saying it is ok if he lost interest and let him know he doesnt have to text me just to be nice? It will keep you from this awful feeling. Next!! AS I said in my post, you Do Not know this guy. I ignored the question and he sent another one later on, which was better and I responded. Hugs, Bp, I started to chat to a guy from POF dating site a few weeks ago, we swapped numbers after a few days (I never give my number out!) Go on and live your life. Yup, Bobbi is rightand you are worth more than that! He was and all this time I thought he was taking care of his Dad. We started texting for days after that date, and he mentioned that he wants to go out again. After that I didnt hear from him for several days until he began texting and asking questions to get to know me more. We contimued to text and he texted me Good morning every morning but I felt something was off and always kind of pushed him and I was super scared. Maybe he was nervous on the date. I met a guy online and the first 2 days we hit it off with texts. Just be honest with him. It made me happy. He didnt reschedule or hasnt really flirted like normal. Sometimes it makes people feel powerful/smart/important to give advice here. For me he just blew it why would he even suggest a weekend away. He thanked me once by text. You can ask for a second one, its not wrong just dont over push your boundary. He said he might go to NYC. We matched and then both were out of town for the holidays but chatting via text we really clicked. Well, I started creating that as my reality. Bp. Maybe most but I certainly do not want to talk on a phone. Walk me to the car and we had two awesome kisses. He invited me to his place. This isnt the 1950s when you couldnt call a man. If a woman prefers that in order to feel comfortable then the guy better dang well step up and be willing to do it if he wont, says all you need to know about him. Im not opposed to getting to know him better but I find these types of messages annoying when I hardly know the person. Just put it out there and throw in a complement while youre at it. Texting is also good for a quick "had a nice time" or "sleep well" note following a nice date. Please stop trying. Im not bitter, but a lot of men today have as much or more baggage than many women and dont deal with it. I kept friendly, smile/hi/if I initiated he would chat a bit. Find out his reasoning and see if you can work it out. Thats way more fun! I was wondering to myself if he just wants a text buddy then suddenly last week he texts when can we meet. Thats exactly how to do it, Yvette. My question is if he doesnt text me can he still be interested? He openly admitted the logistics are probably not feasible for a viable relationship to give me what I want or deserve but the door wasnt completely closed. I love this analogy of the trunk. Can we get over that :/ Should I just calm down and wait for it to play out or move on? The road trip sounds perfect for that. Here are a few signs that he's doing the slow fade: He's distant during sex and leaves as soon as he can afterward. If its only on his termsdont waste your time. The issue here is that now that hes in Fla/Mexico, he NEVER texts or emails or calls. I dont get itI know its not me special. And stay away from these guys who arent yet Grownup. I told him Im not sleeping with a man unless its the man Im going to marry. Why is it so hard? Only the context varies. Its quite the opposite. Just like texting, its not a way to get to know someone. I gave him an opportunity to say If he wants to meet and he said he cant wait when it happens. I dont know details of the break up, but they are still friends and her and her son and it was a long relationship. Hi! He said he was just telling me so that I wont get hurt if we become so close. I've been texting with a man every day for a month. Men usually tell you pretty quickly who they are. But I learned, so we texted every other day untill our date the next Sunday, which he cancelled, three hours before, he had a sore troath after going out the night before. This guy is just a fantasy right now. Bp. Mention that you have noticed a decrease in communication and you're wondering if something is going on that you're not aware of. Make sure he sees your relationship the same way you do and is willing to have a grownup discussion about it. I recently started dating a man who uses texts to check in and make plans to actually get together. I hope it helps. Of course, that's much easier said than done, especially if you've already invested considerable time and energy into him. The problem is that Im feeling confused because I really like him, but I dont know if this is getting anywhere. He knows how to find you and he will when/if hes ready. I see a Big Red Flag here! We hit it off during the flight and we exchange numbers. I recently met I guy the old fashioned way, some flirting, smiling.. chance conversation. So basically, I am not sure what I can do right now. It's completely natural to want to take a friendship to the next level and hang out in person. Do they act differently when you see them? He then started a full-time job and became a little busier. I ignored that, which he then commented on a few days later. Next! He did ask me out to dinner a few times but I couldnt make it. Do you want him to use your name? You know the right thing to do is to let this man go and find someone who truly loves him. Hate covid We are in different cities and have been having the most amazing, respectful, fun, considerate lovely and also intense whatsapp chat for almost 3 months while we wait for lockdown to be over, so we can finally meet. Bp, I met up with a guy through an online app and we hit it off pretty well. Im so happy this helped you! 4) What respectable person sends genitalia snaps to somebody theyve only met briefly? People can use that to get to know each other pretty well. Hi Cassandra, Dont wait At All! I now plan to end this again FOR GOOD (no back doors open) but doubts cross my mind: maybe I should keep in touch? I left the Sunday afternoon before everyone went out for lunch, he left before everyone to the restaurant before I could say good bye, I texted him saying it was great seeing him again, jokingly apologizing for him cutting out before I could say good bye and to have a safe drive home. I decided to reach out to him again after a couple weeks. Ask if hes open to that. But I am pulling back. Sothe bottom line on texting and dating is this: use texting sparingly, wisely and, most of all, dont read too much into it. I met a guy off of a dating website. I have 2 men this week who called me. Tell them what you told me because youre right: Theres no substitute for an in-person date. I wont even let him touch certain body parts, i told him he needs to earn it. Important detail we are in different states at the moment. I cannot stand tons of text messages with lots of personal information, especially with a man I have never met. We have also gone out on a second impromptu date. Bp. We can share our day or anything on our mind. when you receive a No, not tonight. Have question re yes would like to get on phone more, he even gave #, I am just a bit shy ( 62, d.) And went on three dates- am a few hours away- now going up to visit area again- and would love to call/ see him again. Bp. I just wanna hear some advices from you. He said hed come to my Neck of the woods. We began texting and finally had our 1st date several weeks after our initial online conversation. Buuut weve only met in person three times. We meet up finally and have such a good first date, he asks me (with my prompting of saying we should do this again) on a second date 2 days later. This is different. Either he doesnt have time for you or hes not as interested as you may hope. Sorry, Doesnt mean much. What should I do? I told him I had a lot going on and he said talk to me tell me. Next! We have had a several other meetings, usually he came to my place. But for now, sounds like youre just dating. She actually took me out to dinner once and we spend an hr or so at each others house almost daily A little smooching once in a while nothing hot and heavy . Several times I have tried to draw a line in the sand with his hot and cold demeanor and Houdini act. Now that i started texting him less often he usually text me first or call me. True to his claim, the texts was much better. Hugs. My children insist on texting me instead of calling and most of their messages go unread. For almost a year, I took a shot at getting to know someone before getting to sit across from him, touch him, laugh with him. I dont know whats going on in my head. I said when do you like and he said tomorrow or Monday. A co-workers friend asked for my number and I agreed. Now texting is minimal (and Im not budging in texting him much either because dont want to seem desperate. I informed her that I think we are better off as friends, I really like her there are just alot of things I dont understand (Male roommate?). If youre looking just for sex, go for it with this guy. Met a guy years ago at a house party he hosted. Bp. Again, when a man is into you AND hes looking for the Real Dealhe will move mountains to be with you. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. So maybe next time youre on a trip, overlooking the most incredible view youve ever seen, just stop. Should I ask him about this, Thanks a lot! Texted a little Saturday but never heard back about today. Ive said if things dont go anywhere with the girl your dating txt me and if Im still available we could go out. I started chatting to a guy on a dating site about a 6 weeks ago, he first messaged just to say he liked my profile and my pix but knew he didnt stand a chance because we live different ends of the country and hes a single dad. Get clear with about yourself whether you are letting your imagination about him take over,ok? It sucks because I really like this guy. Its like Hitch for women. Hes a great guy inside and out. I met a lovely guy before lockdown. Bp. Very good advice. He told me I could trust him and I believed him and did. Finally I sent him a Snapchat and he responded. When a guy stops texting you every day or when a girl is slower to respond than usual, it can mean everything, but it could just as easily mean absolutely nothing. I thought wed probably get together again, but he committed the unforgivable sin: he texted me the next date and said Hows your day going?. This was strange as we text every day. But the good thing is that's not necessarily true. I know hes been moving into a new place but I am beginning to question was he sincere in his interest. Though I would say one more thing: are your expectations realistic? He says he wants me in his life but we cant get a date to see each other. It was a very enthusiastic text that was sent as soon as he got home that evening. We meet up and we have good chemistry, despite being a bit awkward. Hes a good man, true gentleman, great father and a businessman. He is supposed to be on the ocean in a ship but today when we were texting he told me that he was on his way to work to the office and I called him on it but he did not get back to me. What would I want to look like and feel like when if someone were to enter my life? Glad he moved it to Tuesday, but he would have waited until after NYErs. Sounds kinda nice to me. (wow, very appealing). How about a dinner, museum, or a coffee. Good to know. How Long Should I Wait Before I Have Sex? A lesson in living as if. Sure, in the back of my head, I thought maybe this could work out. Am I over reacting? I never went of course. You want a man who has real potential to share time with and get to know. He always treats me so gently and sweet. Bp. Follow me on Twitter | The Why Do Guys Facebook Page | Join The Facebook Group, This article was posted in Bp. Not exactly tranquil in mine either, but thats another story and not nearly what hes going through. Thanks so much for the fast reply. I always hope for the best. I know what a real man does when hes into someone, but Im not sure in this scenario what it all means? Booooo! I really like your page and the advice you give to others and I would also like to tell you my story. A little bummed that it seems to be written especially for me. I just got back in the dating world I have even try dating app I cant find anyone thats serious about a relationship is it me or people just dont believe in dating anymore .. they only want sex and Im not so quick to doing that . He sent me a friend request on facebook and he sends me private messages daily. And they also have tons of options. Who knows? You have a crush. He was, opposed to the year before, talkative and interested and I enjoyed conversation with him. As a responsible mom, I dont want them to know Im dating at all until Ive been with someone for at least a couple of months and am reasonably confident theyll be around for a while. Hugs. He is very nice and we have met once for lunch I hope you decide to move on to a man who actually shows up for you. I dont know if i am reading to much into it or not. Weve had phone & video calls as well. My question is: does this story could mean something in terms of relationship potential? Confused, really felt a connection. Sorry, but if he were interested hed be in touch. I somehow feel like Im the one doing the chasing because we only get to text in the mornings before he gets to work and the evenings but he doesnt initiate most of the convo and if he did, itd be something like, how are you? or what are you up to? and then I carry on most of the conversation. Anyway, I actually will use how a men texts and communicates as a screening tool. Met a guy, he seems like a real type Two. If not, thats okay. We have been texting everyday throughout these 4 months about 3 to 4 times and most of the time without fail. You dont need to publish this, but just for your research on this topic. In a burst of eagerness to help clean up, a young girl noticed that there were two jugs of milk in the fridge, but one of them was expired. I have never done this before in my life so I told him that I would come. Last week, I sent him a text to see if that was him who honked at me when I ran. Bp, I had (what I thought was) the most amazing first date, ever. Considering it's an investment that COULD result in hot sex, it's a pretty valuable use of a dude's time. I liked how he is. Talked about meeting later that week for lunch but then he couldnt due to meetings. Instant connection and fun messages. He said lol duly noted.. ( we did speak anout 3rd date doover lol), Why not? (Actually I was so confused ). Am I wasting my time? Bask in it, and let it beautifully transform you. Dont go overboard, in other words. Take care of yourself now and learn from the experience. (Move on!) He is a surgeon and I know he probably is busy. He texts and if I dont text after a few days he always texts. Youre looking at it wrong. He calls me with endearments and sometimes talk like we are in a relationship. Here are all the petty texts you wish you'd sent to a slow fader: 2. If hes serious about wanting to see you he will do that to make sure hes reserving your time. My dilemma is I really liked her and I thought we had a great evening together. xx, Lottie if you read my articel you know the answer, girlfriend. I attempted to see if he should move on with a single friend but he didnt want to. He went through great lengths in setting up to talk with me but I was not Interested at the time. Maybe I need patience with single dad ?